


i'll plant my garden here

by technofarmer



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Also Wilbur and Schlatt are in this fic in ghost form (kind of), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone is trying to find Tommy, Flashbacks, He also lives out my cottagecore dreams, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Loneliness, Personification of Nature, Phil is a shit dad, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, There is heavy themes in this fic be warned, This is basically 'Tommy runs away after Doomsday' the fic, Tommy adopts an emotional support dog and cows, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technofarmer/pseuds/technofarmer
Summary: Tommy’s eyes glazed over everyone else, the chaos becoming too much to handle. Tommy flashed back to a time before the first explosion. Sitting on a bench with Tubbo, when he was still a secret spy, when Tommy wasn’t so broken. Discussing plans of running away, leaving it all behind and living out their lives in a small cottage.It was all Tommy could think about as he watched L’manberg get blown to smithereens. He wanted to leave it all behind. He was tired of being abused, taken advantage of, neglected and blamed. He wanted to run away, as far as his legs would take him, to sit in an abandoned field and just cry.And so he did.
Relationships: Jschlatt & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 20
Kudos: 219





	i'll plant my garden here

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my first time posting a fic for the mcyt fandom so I hope you all enjoy! Be warned, there are some heavy themes in this fic, like: depression, abuse, PTSD, and some serious self-deprecation and hatred. If there is an italicized paragraph or parenthesis, that's a flashback and where some of the major stuff takes place. 
> 
> Okay now that that's out of the way hi!! This is "Tommy runs away after Doomsday and lives in a cottage and adopts an emotional support dog and cow" the fic. This is the first chapter and I'm not usually a consistent updater, so keep on the look out for the next chapter I guess?
> 
> If you'd like to follow me, my tumblr is technofarmer! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy <3

Tommy was tired. 

That was the only way to explain how he felt after watching the last thing that remained of his brother’s legacy get blown up. Tommy was tired. It was the bone-deep exhaustion, the kind that dragged you down and made you not want to leave your bed for hours. Even if that meant doing nothing but staring up at the ceiling and thinking. Tommy didn’t really want to think right now. Thinking was dangerous because he knew his thoughts would wander to before, before the explosions and the wars. 

But before was never coming back. 

Tommy watched with empty eyes as his brother, no Technoblade, cut down Tommy’s friends. He watched his dad, no Phil, stand on the sidelines, a smirk on his face as everything blew up around them. He watched as his friend, no Dream, watched silently from above. He could feel the smugness rolling off of him in waves. It made Tommy sick. It reminded him of Logstedshire. 

He didn’t like to think about that. 

His dull eyes searched for Tubbo among the chaos. Tubbo was still fighting, was still throwing himself into battle even though he just had a stone sword and no armor at this point. Tubbo was defending L’manberg until he couldn’t anymore. Tommy wished he had the courage to do the same. 

He watched Quackity stand by, surveying the chaos, similar to Tommy. Quackity met his eyes over the explosions and shook his head slowly. Tommy averted his eyes, not wanting to see the hope disappear from his friend’s eyes. 

Tommy watched Fundy and Niki stand by as the L’mantree burned. Fundy had a crazed look in his eyes, like he was delighted by the outcome. Niki looked angry, angrier than he had ever seen her before. Tommy knew the anger was directed at him but he didn’t know if he deserved it. 

Sapnap fought fiercely, the only one taking Technoblade head on. Tommy had a lot of respect for the man, as he reconciled with him before everything went to shit. He didn’t see Dream’s reaction when one of his closest friends fought against him, but he hoped Dream felt similar to how he felt when his best friend exiled him. Maybe Dream deserved a taste of his own sick medicine for once. 

Ghostbur floated next to the destruction, blue tear tracts running down his face. Tommy wondered if he would even remember this event or if it would fade into the background like every other sad thing. Tommy remembered wishing for the innocence Ghostbur had. Now he just pitied him. No one deserved to exist like that. 

Tommy’s eyes glazed over everyone else, the chaos becoming too much to handle. Tommy flashed back to a time before the first explosion. Sitting on a bench with Tubbo, when he was still a secret spy, when Tommy wasn’t so broken. Discussing plans of running away, leaving it all behind and living out their lives in a small cottage. 

It was all Tommy could think about as he watched L’manberg get blown to smithereens. He wanted to leave it all behind. He was tired of being abused, taken advantage of, neglected and blamed. He wanted to run away, as far as his legs would take him, to sit in an abandoned field and just cry. 

The thought didn’t leave him, even after the chaos came to a close. The confrontation with Dream was the final straw, since it was obvious the man would never give up on an opportunity to torture Tommy more. He wondered how people could excuse this behavior or ignore it? How could people watch someone blatantly abuse and manipulate people and ignore it?

Tommy left the crater behind first. He wandered back to his old dirt shack and ran into Connor. After having a strangely deep heart to heart, Tommy laid down on the bed and sighed. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to leave. What truly was stopping him?

The discs? Tommy had decided he didn’t care about them anymore as soon as he realized he was prioritizing them over everything. He knew leaving meant abandoning Tubbo, but Tubbo would be fine. He had other friends, other people to rely on. Tommy had no one left. No one but Tubbo, who would leave soon enough. 

Nothing was holding him back this time. No unfinished business or familial ties or obligations to a country that didn’t even exist anymore. Tommy really could just pack up his stuff and run away. The thought sunk in deeper as he laid down for a restless sleep. 

The next morning rose with silence. It was unnerving, considering the chaos of the day before, but for once Tommy was grateful for it. The day after destruction was always quiet and mournful. People usually stayed inside, just in case, and Tommy was betting on that fact today. If everyone was occupied, he could slip out with relative ease and go unnoticed. It might even be a few days before they discover he’s gone, which would be good for him. He could get a head start, get out far enough to be harder to track before starting to find somewhere to settle down. 

Tommy packed all the stuff he could into his inventory and an additional backpack he was bringing along. He stuffed an ender chest in there too, stored away a precious compass for safekeeping. He double checked his pack, making sure he had enough food and water to last him a long time. He had all his personal belongings and some spare armor and weapons should he run into any mobs or hostile players. 

Tommy set out just after the sun was reaching its high crest in the sky, the sunbeams watching him go sadly. Tommy turned his back on L’manberg without even thinking twice, tired of the trauma that place brought him, even if it was the last reminder of Wilbur. Tommy dashed through the rest of the SMP, electing to avoid the wooden paths just to be safe. He darted into the woods that surrounded Pogtopia. Tommy sure as hell wanted to avoid that place, and he sprinted faster as he saw the familiar trees. Once he was sure he was out of the greater SMP, he slowed his pace to a walk and just wandered. 

He walked well into the late afternoon and night before stopping beside a large gathering of trees. He could hear mobs spawning and didn’t want to be awake to deal with them, so he climbed up the largest tree and made a little resting place for himself. And after eating some bread and an apple, Tommy let himself sleep. 

The sun woke him up gently the next morning. First it peeked over the horizon, watching as the boy slept fitfully. Next, it let the first rays hit the boy’s face softly, slowly rousing him from his rest. Tommy blinked open his eyes, listening for the sound of mobs burning in the sun. After he was sure it was safe, Tommy hopped down from the tree and continued his walk to nowhere in particular. 

It was during this walk that Tommy observed the world around him, the world untouched by explosives or the evils of man. It helped him push away the thoughts about everything that occurred just a few days prior, because how could he focus on that when there was a whole world around him to focus on?

Tommy walked and walked, first through forests and then plains and now a desert. The heat was almost as bad as the Nether, but Tommy had faced worse. And he wasn’t worried, he could see the edge of the desert on the horizon. But traveling through such constant heat was tiring him out. Tommy wanted to keep moving, wanted to get to a place where he felt safe enough so he wouldn’t have to keep traveling. But to do that he knew he needed to pick up the pace, and the desert wasn’t doing him any favors.

He spotted a desert temple and thought about looting it but ultimately decided against it. He didn’t need the supplies and it was probably more respectful to let the temple stand in all of its glory. And if desert temples reminded him a little too much of a man with an affinity for green, then that was between him and the cacti to know. 

Tommy found himself rambling to no one as he walked along. He filled the silence nervously, as if letting it stay silent too long would kill him. Tommy rambled about anything he saw, from the sand transitioning to dirt on the ground to the animals that slowly started to pop up more and more as he made it further away from the SMP. Tommy knew that when he was younger, he talked a lot to get attention. He made himself loud so no one could ignore him. He made himself visible, with his red t-shirt and shrill voice, just so he could get noticed by someone, by anyone. It sucked, watching your dad give attention to his two sons when he had three. It sucked, watching your older brother care more about a country he made than his own younger brother. It sucked, watching your other brother choose to side with your abuser over you. 

Tommy thought that now, his ramblings were more out of nervousness than attention seeking. He didn’t like the silence. If it got too quiet, if he didn’t talk, he wasn’t sure he would be able to again. So for now, Tommy filled the silence with his mumblings. 

Tommy walked for a long time. He would stop periodically, to eat (even though it wasn’t very much) or to sleep and occasionally to wash himself. After a while, Tommy wasn’t even sure how long he had been walking. It felt like forever at this point. He was tired and running low on food, and he knew that meant he needed to stop soon, but he didn’t think he could. If he stopped, it meant the past would catch up to him. He didn’t want that. 

But nonetheless, eventually Tommy came to a clearing in a dark oak forest. The clearing was lit up with sunlight, but the surrounding trees were thick enough to hide this clearing from view. Tommy only stumbled upon it entirely by accident and once he saw it, he knew this was where he would build his new home. 

Tommy was cautious. He never took more resources than he needed and he always replanted if he could. The small cottage he had built for himself was ugly, he knew that, but for now it would protect him from the hostile mobs and the rain and that was all that mattered. Once he had a roof over his head, Tommy assembled a chest and dumped all of his items into it. It wasn’t much, now that he was looking it all over. But that was fine, Tommy was used to not having much. 

_ His items in the pit. TNT raining down, exploding everything up. His secret room being exposed, his precious items, the ones he had grinded for. All gone. Dream was his friend, right? He was doing this because he cared.  _

Tommy shook his head, trying to throw himself out of the flashback. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to focus on other things. And if that meant working himself so hard that he couldn’t think about the past, then so be it. 

Tommy crafted himself a bed and some torches before passing out. He would do more work tomorrow and he was desperately hoping that he was tired enough that dreams wouldn’t plague him. He closed his eyes and let sleep drag him away. 

-

“What do you mean he’s gone?” 

“I don’t know Big Q! I just know that I went to check his house, because it had been a while since I heard from him, and he wasn’t there! Some of his chests were emptied and I just-”

“Tubbo, it’s okay. We can find him. I’m sure he just ran off for a little while because of everything that happened.” Quackity gave Tubbo a small pat on the back in hopes of comforting the panicked boy. He was worried too. Usually Tommy would at least tell them he was running off. But maybe they didn’t deserve that luxury anymore, after everything that happened. 

“Let’s go back to the little place you’ve built. We can rest there before looking for him tomorrow, okay?” Tubbo nodded, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to spill over. He didn’t want to cry. If he cried, it made everything real. It meant Tommy was really gone, it meant L’manberg was blown up, it meant they had lost again. Tubbo just wanted to rest. Maybe Quackity was right. 

But all Tubbo could think about was Tommy. Tommy’s defeated look during Doomsday. The way Tommy had been so much quieter since his return from exile. It seemed like the fight had been sucked out of him, and Tubbo couldn’t help but think it was his fault. If he hadn’t exiled him, if he had stood up to Dream before all of this, would things have been different? Maybe he would be dead, but at least he would have kept his hope. Now, all he felt was helpless. 

Quackity walked with him to Snowchester, walked him all the way to his door before disappearing off to who knows where. Tubbo knew he wouldn’t get much sleep that night, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. So he settled down into his bed, this house feeling empty and lonely now that it was just him in it. Out here, alone in the wilderness. 

Meanwhile, someone else was stalking through the wilderness. Their story wasn’t over, and he wouldn’t let it be. He  _ would _ find Tommy, no matter what. 

-

Tommy woke up feeling tired. That was to be expected. He didn’t dream, which he was thankful for, but it also meant the sleep he got was pretty poor. Whatever. He had dealt with worse. And yet, he found himself staring up at the ceiling, his body refusing to move. Tommy didn’t know why, but the idea of getting up and starting the day was repulsive. If he got up, that meant another start to another dreadful and lonely day. It was better than before, but it was still awful. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to get up. 

He didn’t. For a long time. By the time he dragged himself out of bed, the sun was high in the sky. It looked down on him sadly, wishing it could stop the passage of time for a little while, just to comfort the boy. But it couldn’t, so it kept observing as the boy barely kept himself going. 

Tommy made himself a small portion of food, smaller than he probably should have. But Tommy hadn’t had a normal amount of food in months, this felt more comfortable, more safe. This was fine. Everything would be fine. 

Maybe if he repeated it to himself enough it would come true. 

Once Tommy was somewhat satisfied with his meal, he set out to gather more resources for his cottage. He refused to call it a home, because it wasn’t. He hadn’t had a home in a long time and every time he did, it got blown up. Better to not get too attached to it for the sake of his heart. 

Tommy started by grabbing any block he thought might look nice. Once again, he was overly cautious about replacing the resources he grabbed. Not only because he felt like it was the respectful thing to do, but also because he didn’t want anyone to know he was here. If people came across a dark oak forest with lots of trees missing, or a cave with too many resources mined out, they might realize he was here. Tommy wanted to avoid everyone, wanted to escape away. Everyone back there had hurt him and he wanted nothing to do with any of them. Maybe that made him selfish, but Tommy was tired. 

So he was extra careful, always treading lightly when it came to resources. 

It took him a few days to gather everything he needed for his cottage. It was still fairly ugly, but at least it resembled a house and he made it, so he was proud. After a long day of building, Tommy realized he was getting low on food. He had started a wheat and carrot farm a few days ago (never a potato farm…), but the crops always took too long to grow. Tommy was impatient and he didn’t know if the food he had left would last him long enough. 

He crafted himself a simple fishing pole and set out for the nearest river. Maybe fishing would calm his mind a little bit. Wilbur always hated fishing, since it reminded him a little too much of Sally. Tommy never found the courage to ask about Sally, always left in the dark about Wilbur’s past. Maybe it was on purpose. If the person you give your trust to blindly seemingly has no flaws, it makes them that much easier to follow. And makes you that much easier to manipulate. 

Dream also didn’t like it when Tommy fished. Dream didn’t have the patience for it, and to be fair neither did Tommy. Besides, why would Tommy fish for food when Dream could give him everything he needed?

No. Tommy shook that thought out of his head. He wasn’t in exile anymore. He wasn’t with Dream. Dream wasn’t his friend. Technoblade tried to remind him of that during their brief time together. Well, then Technoblade went and sided with Dream anyways, so maybe he was just lying. Manipulating Tommy as well. 

Tommy finally found a small stream, settling down beside it. He took off his shoes, letting his feet hang in the water for a second before casting his reel. Fishing was long and quiet and lonely, and for once, Tommy didn’t fill the silence with his ramblings. He listened to the sounds of nature surrounding him, listened for the splash of water and felt the pull on his reel. It was quiet but not in a bad way. Tommy was so used to noise, loud and abrasive, that he forgot quiet could be nice too. Whenever it was quiet before, it always meant trouble. It meant TNT hissing just below your feet or a sneak attack. It meant betrayal and loss and mourning. But out in nature, silence was safe. There was nothing unnatural about silence, and something about that fact was comforting to Tommy. Maybe he didn’t have to fill the silence. 

So Tommy fished in silence and let the quiet sounds of nature comfort him. 

He returned to his cottage once he felt he had enough fish to last him until at least some crops grew, and he knew he could preserve some of the fish if he absolutely needed to. He had learned a lot of basic survival skills from Phil and in that moment, he was thankful for that knowledge. 

_ “Tommy, pay attention. It’s important that you know this. You never know when this could be useful,” Phil scolded his boy, no real heat to his voice since he knew that was just Tommy’s nature.  _

_ “But Daaaad, it’s boring! Besides, if you, Techno and Wilbur are always around, I’ll be fine!” Phil sighed, ruffling Tommy’s hair.  _

_ “I know, but there might come a time when we aren’t around. You need to learn how to survive.” Tommy’s eyes filled with tears quickly, and Phil knew he had messed up.  _

_ “You’re...you’re gonna leave?” _

_ “Oh Tommy, no. I’ll never leave you. As long as I’m still breathing, I will always be there for you.” _

Tommy scoffed at the memory. Yeah right. Phil had only ever been a dad on paper, because after he deemed Tommy old enough, he left. Traveled the world, Wilbur had said, all those years ago. But all Tommy felt was the hot flash of betrayal. The first of many to come, and it still burned the strongest. It burned even hotter as he watched his father stand by and do nothing while his home was blown up. 

The memories still haunted him. He had come out here to escape them, to leave them behind and live out a quiet life, like Wilbur had always spoken of but never truly wanted. Eventually, Tommy knew he would have to face the music. He would have to unpack everything, bit by painful bit. But he deserved to enjoy the quiet a little longer. He deserved to set up his little cottage, to set up a small farm and live the quiet life. He could look back on the past once he felt stable in his present and future. 

For now, he fell into another fitful sleep. 

-

Phil knew something was wrong when he saw Ghostbur floating outside of their house. Ghostbur had been avoiding him since Doomsday, and Phil understood. He needed time to mourn, to understand why everything had to be done. Either that or he would forget the whole event. Phil wasn’t sure what the ghost even wanted, some moments seeming content with his life while others he begged to be brought back to life. 

But seeing Ghostbur floating outside Techno’s house was strange. He seemed to be staring at the cottage, or more accurately, glaring. It was uncharacteristic of the ghost to show negative emotions, but Phil supposed things weren’t really the same anymore. Doomsday had changed a lot of people, Ghostbur included. 

“Ghostbur? Is everything alright?” Phil cautiously approached the ghost, who stared him down with an intensity that Phil had only seen in his alive counterpart. 

“Phil. I suppose he’s not here with you then.” Ghostbur spoke, spitting out the words. His mannerisms reminded him too much of Wilbur, Phil needed to tread carefully. 

“Who’s not here, Ghostbur? Are you looking for Techno?” Ghostbur laughed at that. Phil was confused. 

“Of course you ask about him. I should’ve guessed. The prodigal son, the only one who matters in your eyes, right?” Phil was even more perplexed. 

“I...Ghostbur, what’s going on?”

“What’s going ON Phil, is that one of your sons has gone missing. I should’ve expected that not only do you not care enough to look for him, you don’t even care enough to know. This server would’ve been better off without you on it.” With those final words, Ghostbur floated away. Phil was left there, standing in the snow, shocked at the venom the words were thrown at him with. If he had looked more closely, he would’ve noticed the ghost slide on a familiar coat. 

Phil turned around and marched back into the house. Techno looked up from the book he was reading, shocked at Phil’s disheveled appearance. Phil needed to...well he wasn’t sure. He needed to find out more information, and Wilbur wasn’t going to give him anymore than venom and hatred. But he couldn’t go to anyone else.

“Phil?”

“Techno...I think we fucked up.”

“What do you mean? We accomplished what we strived for! The government is gone, L’manburg is gone, we can retire now.”

“Tommy is missing.”

-

Tommy awoke to another soft morning, unaware of the turmoil brewing within the SMPs borders. His ignorance was bliss, though, because today he was setting out to find some cows for his meager farm. Even though it was still small, he was proud of the progress he had made over the course of the week. But no farm was complete without a few animals, and he figured he might as well start with his favorite. He knew as soon as he got a cow, he would grow attached. Something about their eyes always drew him in, and as soon as it had a name, Tommy knew he was a goner. 

So when he was leading two cows with wheat in his hand, he couldn’t wait to have company. He had already named them, Henry and Clara, and getting them back to his cottage shouldn’t be too hard. It was getting them into the fenced off area that he was worried about. It wasn’t ideal, and as soon as Tommy had the opportunity, he was building them a barn and a large grazing area. But for now, the fenced area would have to do. He only hoped Henry and Clara would agree. 

The two cows wandered in without much of a fuss, and Tommy gave them extra wheat as a reward. He rambled a little bit to them as they grazed, sitting there for a while, just proud he was making progress. It was already more than he had had in a long time, a cottage and farm and two cows to call his own. 

He was proud. 

Slowly, as time passed, Tommy expanded. It wasn’t much, still contained to the small clearing. But the cottage had gotten an upward and downward expansion, it started looking more like a cottage and less like an amalgamation of materials. The wheat and carrot farm grew large enough to sustain Tommy and his farm animals. He now had three cows (Henry and Clara had a baby, Tommy hadn’t decided on a name yet) and two sheep, lovingly named Pog and Champ. He was still careful with resources, never taking more than he needed and always replacing things if he could. Nature was kind to him for this, and never sent bad weather his way. Tommy often awoke to sunny days and clear skies, but on the off chance it did rain, it always benefited his crops. 

Tommy had stopped keeping track of time a while ago. It tired him out, counting the days since he left. It also kept him on guard, since the longer time passed, the more he expected someone to seek him out and drag him back to that place. Tommy rather liked his farm and the peace it brought him. He had even started working on making some of his own clothes, and for anything he couldn’t make, he had found a nearby village willing to trade with him. The villagers were nice enough, always welcoming him with open arms and if they gave him some extra seeds, well, he wasn’t going to complain. 

Realistically, Tommy knew that it had been a few months at least. But the loneliness never caught up with him. He had his animals, who he found himself rambling to at times. He had the woods around him and the farm to keep him busy. He felt safe, for the first time in a long time, and he hoped to god it would last.

-

Wilbur knew he wasn’t Ghostbur. He hadn’t been Ghostbur for a long time, but it finally clicked in his head after Doomsday. Watching the lives of his family and friends get torn apart brought all the ugly memories back to the surface that Ghostbur tried so hard to bury. He resented the ghost version of himself for that, since he had failed a lot of people due to the ignorance of Ghostbur. Tommy the most. 

Wilbur spurred himself on, still methodically searching the woods further and further out from the SMP. The only perk of being a ghost was that he never got tired, and if he did, it wasn’t for long. Time wasn’t a consequence anymore, due to the whole death thing, and Wilbur never needed to eat. He could search for years without consequence, and he hoped that gave him the edge over the others. He knew they were searching for his younger brother too, and could tell with the way the leaves sometimes rustled in an unnatural way or how he heard the beating of wings overhead. He supposed that was partially his fault, but he wanted Phil to own up to his mistakes. 

Maybe it was the vengeance within him that wanted Phil to fail. 

Still, Wilbur trudged on. He didn’t know what exactly he would do if he found his younger brother. He would probably cry first, since Tommy had been through so much. He knew he wasn’t dead, he would’ve felt it if he was. But he didn’t know what state Tommy would be in when he found him. That was what worried Wilbur the most. 

But he would also probably warn Tommy about the others. He knew Dream, Phil and Techno and Tubbo were all searching for Tommy. He didn’t know if anyone else was, but Tommy deserved a heads up. Who knew if he would be ready to face the past, Wilbur sure as hell wasn’t. 

“Are you still searching, Wilbur? Really? Do you think you’ll find the kid in some random woods in the middle of nowhere? Fucker is probably gone by now, good for him.” 

Speaking of the past. 

“Glatt, I have had it up to here with your comments.” Wilbur didn’t even need to look over to know he was getting a pout. Really, how did he ever put up with the man before Manberg. 

“Aw, you know you love me Wilbur.”

“I really don’t. You exiled me and caused a descent into chaos which ended up with my country getting blown up.”

“Well, it wasn’t really your country at the time that it blew up.”

“If I could kill you a second time, I sincerely want you to know that I would.”

Wilbur forced himself to continue and tried to ignore the stubborn ghost following his travels. 

-

He would find him. Sure, it had been months, but what was a hunt without a little suspense? He had done longer, hell, he had survived longer. No one else compared to his tracking, no stupid ghost or hybrid or little boy. He would find his target first and he would win. He was sure of it. 

He hadn’t lost yet. And he didn’t plan on doing so anytime soon. 

-

There were always bad days and good days. Some days Tommy would wake up and be excited to start his day. He would chat with his animals, would tend to his farm and work on expanding the small garden he had started. He hoped the accumulation of flowers would attract bees. The more animals Tommy gathered, the more he was reminded of his former home. And if he cried the first time he saw a bee, well, Henry and Clara wouldn’t judge him.

But there were bad days too. Days where Tommy woke up stuck in a memory, his eyes clouded over, sometimes with panic, sometimes with resigned sadness. On those days, it was hard to get out of bed. He would spend hours staring up at the ceiling, his body yelling at him to get up while his mind refused to allow it. Eventually, he would drag himself out of bed and barely force something down his throat so he didn’t starve. He would feed the animals, because they didn’t deserve to be a consequence of his selfishness. He harvested his crops, if only to give his hands something to do. He avoided his chests where his resources like armor and swords were stored, because he didn’t know what he would do with them. 

_ “Tommy.” _

_ “Dream! My friend, my man! What are you doing here? You’re a little early!” He wasn’t supposed to be here yet. Tommy still had an hour. Dream came at the same time every day. Why was he here? This wasn’t right. He didn’t have enough time, he still had to cover up his secret room. If he could just distract Dream.  _

_ But Dream was his friend. He wouldn’t do anything bad.  _

_ Right? _

_ “Tommy. You’re hiding something from me.” Tommy panicked, and he knew it showed on his face. This was bad. But it would be fine. Dream was his friend.  _

_ “I swear I’m not Dream, please. I can throw my stuff in a pit, that’s what you want right?” Tommy hastily dug a hole, throwing everything he had on him in the pit. Please, Dream, please… _

_ “Good Tommy. It seems you’re finally listening.” Tommy beamed at the praise, although the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He hadn’t genuinely smiled in a long time.  _

_ Was it a long time? He couldn’t remember.  _

_ The TNT exploded. Tommy wasn’t even phased. This was normal, he was used to this. It was only once he saw his secret room was exposed that he panicked. Dream stood very still, but Tommy had gotten good at reading the man’s body language, and he knew what that meant. Anger.  _

_ Tommy didn’t like what happened when Dream got angry.  _

Better to keep his precious items stored away on the bad days. Tommy tried his best to keep himself busy, to keep his mind empty, because once the memories caught up with him. Well, one time he blinked after coming out of a memory and it was late into the night. He had started farming in the early afternoon. 

He knew he had to process his trauma at some point. Farming wouldn’t work as an outlet forever. He needed someone to talk to, someone who didn’t cause him pain in the past, but Tommy knew that as long as he was on this godforsaken server, he would never have that. Everyone was inexplicably linked back to a war of some kind, a conflict caused by Tommy, he knew he was at fault. But that meant that they would never listen, would never care enough to help Tommy process everything. They would always come at it from a biased perspective. 

Which, he supposed, he would too. 

It wasn’t until another one of his bad days hit that Tommy realized he needed someone. Maybe it didn’t have to be a person though. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his farm animals, but they had to stay outside. If he had a companion, someone who lived with him, would that help? He didn’t know for sure, but it couldn’t hurt. 

So Tommy set out on a small quest. He gave his cows and sheep extra food, just in case it took him longer than he expected. Henry regarded him with sad eyes, and Tommy almost stayed home because of it. 

“Henry, I’ll be back I promise. I just. I need to do this. Okay?” Maybe he imagined it, but it seemed like Henry nodded his head. 

So with approval from his cows, Tommy set out into the woods. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he had some extra resources stored away in case he stumbled upon a companion. A couple bones, some fish, and some extra seeds. Whoever he found along the way, he decided he would give them a home. 

Everyone deserves a home. That’s what Tommy was discovering after he left the SMP. 

He walked the outskirts of his living area, until he stumbled upon a lonely dog. It was small and obviously malnourished, and it looked at Tommy with the biggest, most sad eyes Tommy had ever seen. In some strange way, he saw himself reflected in those eyes. He saw mistrust, fear and betrayal, but also hope, that maybe this new person wouldn’t be the same. 

Tommy fell in love immediately. 

He lured the pup forward with some bones, and eventually brought it back to his cottage. Once inside the house, Tommy grabbed some leftover steak and placed it on the ground before backing up. The dog was watching him move back slowly and Tommy sat down across the room. It was a couple minutes before the dog moved forward hesitantly to grab the steak and pull it back to its spot in the corner. The whole time, its eyes never left Tommy. Tommy sat very still, not wanting to startle the dog. 

Is this how Techno felt when he found Tommy after his exile?

_ Tommy knew he was being irrational. Knew that he shouldn’t panic, that makes him weak. A voice that sounds suspiciously like Dream muttered in his head that he was already weak.  _

_ But the obsidian walls looked too familiar. The chests lined up against the walls, the button in the middle. It felt like everything was closing in on him too fast and Tommy was thrown back to deep cutting betrayal, the first for this server but not the first he had experienced. His mind was overwhelmed with panic, too busy shouting at him to get away, to get out. Danger, DANGER DANGER- _

_ “Tommy? Are you alright man? What’s this room anyways?” _

_ Right. Technoblade was here.  _

_ “Um, I would like to leave now Technoblade. Please.” _

_ “What happened here?” Tommy knew he was being too obvious, his voice had too much of a panicked edge for him to pass it off easily. He should explain himself. Should explain the tragedy that happened here. But he couldn’t speak, he just wanted to leave. And before he knew it, he was sprinting out of the room, running back towards safety.  _

_ With a sigh, Techno followed after him.  _

Well. Tommy wasn’t planning on tossing the dog aside and blowing up a country. And if recovery meant sitting here for hours while the dog learned to trust again, then he would. Who knows, it might help Tommy out too. 

He named the dog Mellohi and tried not to think too much about it.

-

It had been months now, with no sign of Tommy. Tubbo didn’t want to give up hope, he refused to, but it seemed like everyone else already had. Well, not exactly everyone else. Tubbo knew that Wilbur (not Ghostbur. He hadn’t been Ghostbur since Doomsday) was still out there searching, probably using his ghost powers. Phil hadn’t been seen either, even though Technoblade still showed up to cause chaos every once in a while. And Dream had disappeared as well, but Tubbo didn’t know if he was searching for Tommy or trying to escape the outrage of Doomsday. 

He hoped it was the second one. 

Tubbo hadn’t given up hope but he also couldn’t actively search for his best friend anymore. Increasingly, he found himself building houses for others and creating a small community in Snowchester. He had to reassure Technoblade that it wasn’t a government, just a commune, there were no leaders. He was still wary though, when Techno showed up to trade or help them with farming. He was reminded too much of fireworks and explosions. 

Strangely enough, the first person to move into Snowchester was Sapnap. He had just shown up on Tubbo’s doorstep one day, asking if he could build a house. Tubbo didn’t see a reason to say no and they started work immediately. Sapnap never gave a reason why, but Tubbo figured that after Dream’s disappearance and George’s apathy, he just wanted a home and someone to care. Tubbo felt similarly. 

Quackity showed up next, but Tubbo was expecting him. He already had a room set up in Tubbo’s house, decorated with awful memes and the most ugly wallpaper color he could pick. It hurt Tubbo’s eyes but was perfect for Big Q’s room. 

Ranboo eventually showed up as well, nervously wringing his hands when he asked for a place to stay. At this point, Tubbo figured they could all work together and build a small commune where they farmed and worked on projects together. Ranboo got his own house but often hung out at Tubbo’s. 

It was after Tubbo named their little commune Snowchester that Technoblade showed up. 

He didn’t want to stay, but he did ask if they had formed a government. Tubbo was quick to reassure him that they didn’t, they were all just living together out of mutual benefit. Quackity laughed nervously until Techno put away his axe and asked if they could trade things, from time to time. Tubbo wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t about to say no to Technoblade, so every couple of weeks he would trade something with Techno. Sometimes it was food or emeralds, other times it was projects that Techno had asked Tubbo about. It was strange. 

A few others had shown up, notably Fundy, Niki and Jack, after numerous apologies and forgiveness all around. Tubbo worked with Niki on her anger which they discovered was grief, and they helped Fundy through his trauma process too. Eret showed up almost every day but never moved in, he claimed it was to check up on Fundy but Tubbo wondered if he just got lonely, up in his castle. 

They got visitors often, whether it was Puffy dropping by to add some flowers that she hoped would survive the winter (they didn’t), or Karl regaling them with a new story. It was nice, having a place to live that was safe, at least for a little while. But there was always something missing. 

Every weekend, Tubbo packed his bag and set out for another search. He would bring obsidian with him so he could travel back easier, but he found himself going farther and farther out each time. He never found a trace of Tommy. 

“Tubbo...do you want to talk about it?” Quackity asked one night after he returned, just as disappointed as before. 

“No, Big Q, I think I’m just not looking hard enough! I’ll find him soon enough I’m sure.” 

-

Tommy was never one for patience before everything. He always rushed head first into things, never thinking about the consequences. It was the need to move, the need to do something that was innate within him. It made him impulsive and impatient, and Tommy certainly paid for it. He paid for it with his duel with Dream, he paid for it during the election, he paid for it during the first time L’manberg blew up. 

After running away, Tommy learned the importance of patience. Farming took patience, you couldn’t just magic the crops to grow. You had to plant them and wait for them to actually grow and the satisfaction Tommy felt the first time he harvested his crops was worth the wait. He was getting a renewed lesson in patience with Mellohi the dog. 

It had taken a week before Mellohi would even consider moving from his corner. Every day, Tommy woke up and attempted to feed the dog. Sometimes, it was successful. Other times it wasn’t. But Tommy wasn’t going to give up on Mellohi just because he was traumatized. 

He knew what that felt like. 

So each day, he would set the food in the middle of the room and wait for Mellohi to grab it. By the end of the week, it was trending towards grabbing the food more than leaving it there. That was progress, even if it was small. Still, Mellohi stayed inside the house, and that made Tommy feel much better. It was getting colder and he didn’t want Mellohi to be stranded outside in the cold or bad weather. He wanted to help Mellohi recover, and that meant starting with his physical wounds. 

Tommy still went out and fed his animals and tended to his crops. He had developed a routine and he would stick to it, but now he had to adapt to include Mellohi in it too. The dog growled at him every time he came back inside the house, but that was okay. Better to get the anger out now, that way it wouldn’t be as bad later. Or at least, that’s what Tommy hopes. 

He didn’t have any books or people to tell him if he was doing this right. He just knew that no one, animal or not, deserved to be given up on just because they were traumatized and needed help. So Tommy was using his own trauma as a way to approach the situation. Was it healthy? Probably not, but it gave him a frame of reference. 

Tommy remembered lashing out at Technoblade at first, so he understood where Mellohi was coming from. He also remembered it being a lot harder to eat after being malnourished for so long, so Tommy knew to not give Mellohi too much food. It would be a slow build up until Mellohi was eating regularly and a good portion. 

It was going to be a lot of work. Tommy just hoped he didn’t fuck anything up. ( _ Like you usually do, Dream whispered in the back of his head). _

So the next week, it was the same process. Sit in opposite corners of the room, with the food set between them. Tommy would wait until Mellohi dragged the food back to his corner before even considering moving. Sudden movements made Mellohi nervous. Tommy could understand. 

By the end of the week, Mellohi had taken the food every single day. Progress was small but it was still progress nonetheless. Tommy was proud. 

The next week, Tommy sat closer to the food. He didn’t sequester himself to the corner like usual, but he also wasn’t sitting right next to the food. He was somewhere in the middle ground, far enough to make Mellohi comfortable but closer than before. Mellohi was wary and hesitant on the first day, but ultimately still took the food. He took the food the rest of the week. 

So the next week, Tommy got a little closer. 

Each week, Mellohi was hesitant on the first day but would always take the food. Tommy considered it progress. After a few weeks, Tommy was sitting almost next to the food and Mellohi still came and took it. He never reached close to Mellohi, never moved when he got near, but he just let his presence be near the food. He hoped it would form some sort of positive association with him and food. He truly didn’t have a clue what he was doing, but it seemed to be working. 

After a month and a half, Mellohi didn’t move back to his corner to eat. He sat next to Tommy and ate his food silently, before retreating back to his corner. Tommy almost cried, but he didn’t want to admit that he was becoming soft for the dog. ( _ Any attachments he had in the past always ended in tragedy. He didn’t want that for Mellohi) _ . 

So now, Tommy’s routine included eating meals with Mellohi. He had started bringing food for himself once Mellohi was comfortable with eating near him, he figured it might be nice to have company while he ate. Sometimes, he rambled quietly to Mellohi, if only to get him used to Tommy’s voice. The rambles were usually about random things he saw throughout his day or learned about farming and building. Sometimes, they were about happy memories from before everything. They were never about L’manberg. 

As the winter months approached quicker and quicker, Tommy stockpiled resources and sped up his building of the barn. He wanted to make sure his animals stayed safe and warm during the winter, even though he didn’t think it would get too bad in his clearing. Nature had been kind to him out here, and he hoped that would continue into winter. 

He had also started building a small greenhouse that was insulated in order to keep some of his plants alive. Before everything, Tommy had never been much of a builder. He watched Phil create expansive and insane builds, watched Techno stumble through building before eventually learning the basics and accomplishing more than Tommy had ever dreamed. And Wilbur, while none of his builds had been aesthetically impressive, they always carried a weight with them, an innate power because they were his. 

Tommy never did any of that. His builds were abrasive and inconvenient ( _ just like him _ ), and often made people scoff in disgust. The cobblestone towers, his first dirt base, Pogtopia. All of those had been pretty awful builds, by anyone else’s standards, but Tommy always loved them because they were his. 

Although his cottage out in the woods? He was actually proud of it. The cottage had grown, over time, and as Tommy stumbled through the basics, he started to actually understand what made something look good, aesthetically. And when he started the construction of his barn, it actually looked like a barn, something someone wouldn’t immediately be disgusted by. With his greenhouse, he was planning on going above and beyond. But for now he needed to focus on completing it in order to get it ready for the winter months. 

Maybe life out in the woods, all alone (but not really) wasn’t so bad. 

-

Glatt was infuriating. That’s what Wilbur had decided during his travels. He wasn’t sure how long it had been now, maybe half a year, but as awful as Schlatt was in life, in death he made it his mission to be as annoying as possible. 

Wilbur had thought about asking literally anyone else to take the ghost off his hands. But that would mean talking to people, confronting those who had hurt his little brother (except he did too…), and he wasn’t ready for that. So he suffered in silence, wishing so badly that Glatt would fuck off and bother someone else. 

The company was comforting at some points, especially when they encountered a mob and Glatt would make a joke or a comment that made Wilbur chuckle. So it wasn’t all bad. But god, most of the time, Glatt was insufferable. 

But ignoring Glatt, Wilbur was worried. With no sign of his brother after six months, he didn’t know if he would ever find him. He didn’t know if he deserved to, after everything he had done, but he at least wanted to make sure he was...alive? Okay? Wilbur wasn’t sure. Maybe it was his old instincts kicking in, the need to check up on Tommy and care for him in ways Phil never would. 

So Wilbur continued on, and it was only once he reached a dark oak forest that he felt something. The woods around him were unassuming and normal, but almost too normal. As if they were protecting something, hiding something from view. In death, Wilbur had realized that nature was a lot more involved in things than people thinked. It wasn’t sentient but it wasn’t dormant either. It did things for reasons, and if it was hiding something here, well, Wilbur would be a fool to ignore it. 

To a normal onlooker, they might let their eyes pass over it. But Wilbur didn’t ignore it and apparently neither did Glatt. 

“That’s weird. I’ve never seen the trees do that before.”

“Yeah...me neither. Let’s check it out.” It was the first time in a long time they had both been so serious. 

The two ghosts floated to the outside of a clearing. 

-

Something was wrong. Tommy could feel it, deep in his bones. He could sense it, in the way Mellohi was standing by the door, as if he was guarding it. Tommy looked outside, and watched as his cows and sheep grew restless, staring towards the tree line nervously. 

Something was out there. Tommy didn’t want to find out what. But he wasn’t sure that he would get the opportunity to ignore it. 

It didn’t make sense though. He was thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of blocks out. He was far enough away from the SMP that he was sure no one followed him or could track him. He had been so careful, leaving the woods around him relatively alone, so no one could even suspect him of being here. So what was out there? What had everyone on guard?

Tommy rustled through his chests, pulling out the meager iron armor and his weapons. He knew they wouldn’t do much if someone had indeed found him, but they might be enough to ward a curious traveler off. He hoped at least. 

Tommy approached the door cautiously, noting the way Mellohi whimpered as he did so. That was new, but he didn’t have time to unpack that. He was going to defend his home (when did it become home?) no matter what. He was proud of what he was doing out here, and he wasn’t going to let anyone from the SMP ruin that. 

Finally, the trees parted enough for Tommy to make out two figures. They were glowing faintly, which meant either potions or...something else. Tommy hoped it was the latter, even though he knew that meant who had found him. It would be better than a fight, which Tommy would surely lose. 

The two ghosts floated into the clearing, one gasping at the progress he had made. The other glanced around curiously, before his eyes landed on the cottage. Tommy shook, with fear or anticipation, he couldn’t be sure. But he knew that look. He hadn’t seen that look in a long time, years maybe. He hadn’t seen it since the election. 

Wilbur was out there. And he wasn’t Ghostbur. 

A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. 

“Do you really think he’s in here? I mean, what if it’s just some random dude we’re bothering for no reason, that’ll be embarrassing.”

“When have you ever cared about what’s embarrassing?”

“Fair point.”

That was definitely the voice of his brother and the former president of Manburg. It was strange, hearing them talk and banter as if they were friends and not enemies. Maybe death did that to people. Tommy couldn’t be sure and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. 

Mellohi was still sitting near the door, growling at it quietly. Tommy tried to approach calmly and quietly, to both ease Mellohi’s nerves and his own. Another knock sounded. He took a deep breath before he opened the door. 

“Can I help you with anything?” Maybe he had changed enough in these six months that they wouldn’t recognize him. His hair was longer, after all, and he had gained some muscle and some height. Please let it be enough-

“Tommy?”

Not enough. 

“Hello, um, ghosts.” Well that certainly wasn’t a great greeting. But how do you greet two people who just show up at your house? Not to mention the fact that they caused him immense trauma in different ways and their deaths didn’t really bring him any relief or freedom. 

“This is a nice place you’ve got for yourself, Tommy!” Glatt said, peering into his house. Tommy closed the door behind him and stepped out, forcing the ghosts to step off his porch. He could still hear faint growling coming from inside, and he didn’t want to make Mellohi anymore nervous by inviting the ghosts into the house. He didn’t figure that they’d really want to stay either. 

“Thank you, uhm…”

“Glatt!”

“Right. Glatt.” Tommy was still avoiding the other ghost’s gaze, mostly because he saw a little too much of his older brother in those eyes. He didn’t want to face the fact that this might not be Ghostbur anymore and might actually be Wilbur. Tommy wasn’t ready to face a lot of things. 

“Well, it was nice of you two to drop in, but I have got stuff to do, so…” Tommy wasn’t used to having to fill silences. Sure, he talked to his animals and Mellohi a lot, but there were many times that he was just quiet and he was okay with that. Tommy from before wouldn’t be, he would be trying to fill the silences with whatever he could. But that Tommy hadn’t lived through multiple wars, and an exile that broke down his entire character. 

Sometimes, Tommy was still expecting a hit whenever he got too loud. 

“I...Tommy.” Ghostbur...well no, Wilbur’s voice was very firm. He was using the older brother's voice on him, no fair. Usually he would’ve whined but, well, things are different now. Tommy finds himself thinking that a lot. 

“Yes?” He still refuses to look at him. 

“Can you look at me?”

“I’d really prefer not to.” A deep sigh. 

“Tommy.” Slowly, Tommy peered up at his older brother. Wilbur’s eyes were brimmed with tears, still lacking the color from his lifetime, but full of emotion. Real, complex emotion, not the fake happiness that Ghostbur gave off whenever he was around. Tommy simultaneously wanted to hug his brother and run as far away as he could. 

“Right, well, I’m looking at you. Now what?”

“Tommy. People...thought you were  _ dead. _ ” Tommy nodded, he had already acknowledged this fact. Maybe even hoped for it a little bit, so people wouldn’t come searching and would leave him alone. Move on. They deserved to, after everything he did. 

“You didn’t though.” It was said softly, and Wilbur sighed at the way Tommy said it nonchalantly.

“You’re right, I didn’t. But...why did you run away without telling anyone?”

“That’s kind of the point of running away, innit? I didn’t want anyone to follow me, is that too much to ask?” Tommy sounded tired. He was tired. But he had built up a nice life for himself out here, had things he was working towards. He knew the peace wouldn’t last forever, knew he couldn’t live out here alone but he wanted more time. He wanted time to recover, to be himself again or at least some version of himself. 

“Hey, the kids right Wil. I mean, if he didn’t tell anyone he wanted to be alone.” Tommy was surprised to hear Glatt chime in, but it was nice for his point to be validated. Unusual, but nice. Glatt floated over to his animals, waving at Henry and Clara. They regarded him with contempt, which would’ve made Tommy laugh at any other time. His cows always had a personality. 

“I’m sorry Tommy. You didn’t deserve anything you went through, or anything I put you through. You deserve a second chance and I hope you’ve found it out here.” Wilbur sounded genuinely apologetic, and Tommy dragged his eyes back over to the ghost of his brother. There were tears gathered in his eyes. It was strange, seeing someone who had hurt him so badly genuinely apologize. 

“I’m still angry at you, you know. Because you had it easy. You messed up so many times, you hurt so many people and then you got to escape all the anger and consequences through death. Me though? I had to live through all the anger. And look where that got me.”

“Tommy. Death is easy, living is harder. You’re right, I did take the easy way out. But you  _ didn’t _ , Tommy, and that shows how much stronger you are than me. You lived through everything, despite the anger and the fear, and you came out the other end still alive. That is amazing.” Tommy was trying not to cry. The way his brother spoke so passionately, it reminded him of their time together during the war. When Wilbur wasn’t President Soot, wasn’t even General Soot. He was just Wilbur who was fighting for something he believed in. And Tommy missed that. He missed his brother. 

Before he could think about it, he was rushing forward for a hug. He wasn’t even sure Wilbur could hug him, but he wanted so badly to be in his brother’s embrace. As he crashed into something solid, hearing a soft oof, he felt cold arms wrap around him. The hug wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t like his hugs before death, but they had both changed in different ways. This was the new normal, and Tommy needed something normal. 

“Oh Tommy, I’ve missed you.” The tears welled up in his eyes before he could stop them. He missed Wilbur too. 

“I feel like I’m intruding.”

“That’s cuz you are. Prick.” Tommy laughed wetly as his brother argued with Glatt. Maybe having a few farmhands around couldn’t hurt...

-

This little game was getting tiresome. He didn’t want to resort to pulling from DreamXD’s powers, he wanted to find Tommy himself. Besides, it would be so much more satisfying to show up out of the blue, to see the shocked look on Tommy’s face, rather than teleporting to him directly.

The hunt would be worth it. Before he knew it, their game would hit play again. He couldn’t wait for that moment. 

With those thoughts motivating him, he took off through the desert. 


End file.
